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From “Putin’s Puppet” to Oval Office Swagger: My Zelenskyy Wake-Up Call

The first time I ever heard of Volodymyr Zelenskyy, the sixth president of Ukraine, was in 2019 during a Skype Russian language session with my tutor, Julia. The details are foggy, but one phrase stuck: “marionetka Putina”—Putin’s puppet.

I stared blankly at Julia, confused, thinking we were still talking about Alexei Navalny, the Russian opposition figure.
“Shto??” I asked.

She clarified: no, this wasn’t about Russia’s dissident darling. This was someone else. Someone new.

“Kto eta? I, po chemu on marionetka Putina?”
(Who is he? Why is he Putin’s puppet?)

Julia calmly explained that Zelenskyy was Ukraine’s newly 
Elected president—and before that, he was a comedic actor.

I laughed. Hard.
“Nyet, eto ni pravda!!” (No! That’s not true!)

“Da, Ebony—Eta PRAVVADA,” she replied, deadpan.

Seconds later, my Skype chat filled with links. I clicked through, and there it was: Actor turned president.
As I scanned his photos, two thoughts popped into my head: Damn, that guy is hot, and Man, he’s fit!

Fast-forward nearly six years...


I’m watching the same man sit in the Oval Office surrounded by what can only be described as a gang of Friday Night Lights bullies in suits. And three thoughts hit me again:
Damn, that guy is fit.
Wow, he looks good in his war uniform.
And he is carrying the weight of his country on his back while these clowns are playing debate team politics.

What’s wild is that it didn’t occur to me until later that he wasn’t wearing a suit. An odd thing to notice—unless you're from a country so disoriented by American Exceptionalism that we mistake decorum for leadership, and suits for substance.

This wasn’t a peace deal.

This was Mean Girls at the Oval.
This was James Spader bullying Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink—he’s rich, emotionally stunted prospective yuppie and whipped over the working-class girl who sees through his BS.

Petty power play dressed up as policy.

Everything was staged. A curated light, camera, action scene where selected media outlets were used to position Trump as the man who could do what Biden couldn’t: End the war in Ukraine.

But let’s be real, this was never about sealing a deal. This was humiliation politics. Trump tried to punk Zelenskyy.

But Zelenskyy? He’s not a punk.

Trump idolizes Putin’s "badassery," but Zelenskyy carries a swagger of his own. And one of the sharpest moments in that Oval Office exchange came when Trump said, “You don’t have the cards.” Zelenskyy’s comeback?

“I’m not playing cards... I’m very serious... I’m the president in a war.” Я не граю в карти... Я дуже серйозно... Я президент під час війни.
(Politico)

And he delivered that line in a third language to a room full of men trying to emasculate and corner him. And it backfired spectacularly on the Trump administration.

They tried to humiliate him and force him to bend the knee. But.. what happened?
Europe rallied behind him.
Media criticism exploded.

Zelenskyy showed up in battle gear—because he’s in an actual war.

They showed up in suits—because they’re in a theater.

Annnnd their performance wasn’t even good.

 

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